hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
