Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Randomize
