Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
