I skipped work to stalk him.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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