we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
wow bdsm is so cute
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
