so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
