You made me cry and you don't even care
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
