We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize