If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize