Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize