Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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