every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
