Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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