Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
