you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
