You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize
