I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
