My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
