Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
You left your phone here
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