How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize
