its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
You're a waste of cheezeits
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
