I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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