i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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