Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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