It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
