just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
