wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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