Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
