Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
