the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
