This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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