Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
