It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
