she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
