You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
