I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
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