I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
