Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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