Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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