im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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