Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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