why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
