Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
