You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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