The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
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