Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Randomize
