if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
