I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize