How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I'm always down for nudity.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
