I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
