i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
