btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
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