Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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