oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
