I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
