My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize