i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
