just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
