If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
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