Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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